Back in April Melbourne comedian Matt Elsbury asked me if I’d like to do a show with him based on love and hate. He very kindly offered me the ‘love’ half of the show as he wasn’t sure that he could get through half an hour without hating something. Because I had just finished a run of my show ‘Happy’, Matt reasonably assumed that I could create a positive half hour to balance his darker comedy. I’m not sure that I am overly qualified to talk about love but I was flattered by his offer and, well, a little drunk, so I said yes. Interestingly this is how a lot of my relationships start.
Such an invitation probably wouldn’t have been extended to me a few years ago. I used to have a tendency to be cynical about many things. I was even cynical about being cynical, after all, what does it really achieve? But these days I have come to terms with a lot of the frustrations that used to plague me. I have learned to accept that which I cannot change. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have questions.
Everyday there are more things to puzzle about . Questions that keep me up at night and need to be answered. For example:
1. Are my friends who aren’t registered on Facebook still my friends?
2. If there are more cars on the road every year why do service stations keep closing down?
3. Why is flavoured water cheaper than plain bottled water and how can a toothbrush cost more than a broom?
4. Who are all the naked girls on the internet? There are literally thousands of them (I checked) but no-one seems to know them. Are they like Liberal voters, no-one will admit to it, but clearly someone does it?
5. Who honestly has 5000 songs they like enough to put in their iPod?
6. Why would anyone buy a $10,000 ‘outdoor kitchen’ when they could just as easily buy a neon sign that says “I’m a massive wanker with far too much money!”
7. Does the crap on TV really need to be seen in high definition?
8. Is there a broadcasting regulation that insists all breakfast radio shows must make ‘crazy calls’?
9. How many scrapbooking stores does a society need?
10. Will “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” be followed up by “Can You Go to the Toilet by Yourself?”
I think these are reasonable questions and I’d like to think that someone has the answers. If you can help, come to our show and fill me in.
I used to have a lot of questions about love too. I think we all probably do. What is love? Where do you find it? Should I ask for a receipt? And the answers aren’t always simple. It wasn’t until Matt asked me to write material about love that I had the chance to really evaluate it all and come to terms with what love really means to me.
While writing I realised that love is actually a lot like stand-up comedy. It can be scary, it can make you feel fantastic or terrible, it might make you laugh or it might make you cringe. If you mess it up people will throw things at you but if you do it right you will be adored. It’s better with lots of people in the room and of course you need a spotlight and microphone… OK maybe I’ve pushed the analogy a bit far.
But whether you are looking for love, have found love, thought you’d lost love but then realised it had just fallen behind the couch. Whether you remember Jackie Love or Courtney Love, spell love L-U-V or simply hate love, come along to LOVE & HATE and have a laugh at love with me.
P.S. If you do know anyone who is naked on the internet, bring them along too.
Gavin can be seen with Matt Elsbury in LOVE & HATE, 8pm, Wednesday Nov 28 – Saturday Dec 1 at Glitch Bar & Cinema, 318 St Georges Rd, Nth Fitzroy. Tickets are available at the door for $15 Full /$12 concession. More info at www.gavinbaskerville.com or www.mattelsbury.com
2 comments:
what about looking for love in all the wrong places?? and yes, i'm still your friend - facebook is just a bloody cult and i have no patience for it... good to see you out and about in the blogging world. if you're home over the silly season i'll be seeing you. & i'll be in melb in march. WOOHOO!! congrats on the gig.
Here are the answers to your questions about life's little mystery's.
1. Are my friends who aren’t registered on Facebook still my friends?
No -although that can also depend upon your myspace rating, if you are not one of the top 8 myspace friends, you don't exist.
3. Why is flavoured water cheaper than plain bottled water and how can a toothbrush cost more than a broom?
Plain water is sold as a clear liquid, which is not a normal reality in our present world. The coloured flavoured water still has the mecury and toxins left in, you just can't see em.
4. Who are all the naked girls on the internet? There are literally thousands of them (I checked) but no-one seems to know them. Are they like Liberal voters, no-one will admit to it, but clearly someone does it?
The naked girls on the internet are the self same people who vote liberal.
It is a little known fact that back during the Fraser years when John Howard was just the treasurer well, young Johhny was a bit of a stud, he got about a bit and impregnated many of the ladies with his fertile seed to ensure a future electoral base of pole dancing liberal supporters.
5. Who honestly has 5000 songs they like enough to put in their iPod?
I do! Bob Dylan has released 297 albums to date, with an average of 16 tracks per album an ipod can just about hold the whole collection, with timeless classics such as 'ewwergha' and that one about 'itainthmmwiyeui..zipydo'eventually Dylans son'gs will be translated into english.
6. Why would anyone buy a $10,000 ‘outdoor kitchen’ when they could just as easily buy a neon sign that says “I’m a massive wanker with far too much money!”
Having a massive neon sign that says “I’m a massive wanker with far too much money!” would make me a bit of a show pony and not a good thing for the enviroment.
I think you will find that the outdoor kitchen is just the beggining, soon there will be outdoor patio's, outdoor bathrooms, outtdoor living rooms, outdoor bedrooms - the homeless have become the current trendsetters, the elitist buggers have never had it so good. With the way housing & renting prices are going having an outdoor kitchen/bathroom/bedroom is going to become the norm for those of us who have never had it better.
.
7. Does the crap on TV really need to be seen in high definition?
Yes, and multi broadcasted - the best way to keep the public unawares of the dumbing down and ignorance of commercial tv is to get them excited about the availability of said crap on HD and digitally, eg: The Singing bee.
8. Is there a broadcasting regulation that insists all breakfast radio shows must make ‘crazy calls’?
Actually the technical specifications require both crazy & zany calls.
10. Will “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” be followed up by “Can You Go to the Toilet by Yourself?”
It is very possible, i have yet to see what shows are currently scheduled in the United States but you can be quite sure that if they are anything quite like "The Singing Bee or Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” then the aussie commercial networks will copy them direct, given that's what we do best, take the worst of the US tv shows, such as singing bee, 5th year old, biggest loser and pretend they are our own.
Don't be suprised to see next year on the small screen CSI Hobart.
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